I’m starting to love Frank Kern’s twisted sense of humor. He actually wins my ‘best line in a sales letter’ award this year for this gem:

…my results aren’t typical. I ain’t promising anyone a damn thing. I’m just showing you what’s working for me.

and, this one comes in a close second:

Here’s my vision of retirement. I’m on a beach someplace warm and sunny. A nubile young nymph brings me a drink.

I should mention, both of these sentences are taken out of context, but they’re just as funny in context.